Immemorial Musing

I’m not sure what to say anymore.

I feel like I’ve lost my soul.

What do you do when you constantly tell yourself there’s no point in anything? It’s not even you actually, it’s this presence, some sort of uncontrollable force, and it’s always whispering to you.

I just have never felt like I was made to succeed in life. I have always felt inferior, and I still do to this day now. It makes me not want to do anything, or even try anything.

I feel like, even as a kid, I never wanted to work. I don’t mean a job, I mean I’ve always tried to avoid the work in between starting and finishing something. Even if it’s something I’m interested, I can’t find true satisfaction in fully putting in work.

There’s so many things that are wrong with me. Year after year, I have thoughts that I want to go back in time and do things over, but now I feel like I’d end up in he same position.

I don’t know why I’m here.

I’m not sure what to do anymore.

-Immemorial Musing