Immemorial Musing

It’s been a little while since my last post.

I’m not really sure what exactly to write about at the moment, but I have not been feeling good lately.

By that I mean…I am sick again.

I have been sick for almost all of 2025 now.

I am so annoyed and angry. I missed a big event for my friends today because of this.

When I am sick to this degree, I really can’t get in any positive mood or mindset. In fact, I am almost exclusively negative and more depressed than ever.

As I am writing this tonight, I am feeling much better than the past few days, but I am not fully better.

Now, I am more mad about missing my friends’ event than anything.

I have been finally getting comfortable going out more often again. It feels like getting sick AGAIN in 2025 set me back again.

I don’t get it. Is there some universal force out there that does this?

I don’t go out often myself, only with other people, and I had not gone out for a little while, and yet I get sick again.

……

It almost feels like I’m meant to be alone.

Whenever I get an opportunity to be social and I actually feel positive about it, it’s taken away in some way.

Even if it’s myself, and social anxiety or depression makes me too nervous to do it, something always drags me away.

It may just be who I am. A loner.

-Immemorial Musing