Immemorial Musing

I have found myself in a darker side of my mindscape lately.

This is a part of my mindscape that is full of doubt, insecurity, and hopelessness.

It’s a part of my mindscape that has grown over the course of a decade, to the point that it is significantly large.

At times, it seems like this part of my mindscape is the larger part, making this the true “me”.

For the first time since it first formed, I am trying to combat it. It has actually been a couple years now. Sometimes I feel like I am not making any progress, and other times feel like these efforts are hopeless.

I am currently in this sort of phase. It feels like a wave crashes onto me. There’s not really much that you can do, it just happens.

It consumes you, surrounding you in a never-ending fog.

After all these years, I’m still unsure of what to do. I don’t know what will help, and I’m not even sure of what will make me happy in times like this.

After all of the fighting I have done, it even takes me to the darkest corners of my mindscape. Those are the scariest moments.

-Immemorial Musing