Immemorial Musing

There is a certain recurring thought that has plagued my mental state for most of my entire life.

The first thought that I have when I’m feeling down or something bad happens is “can’t I just reset?”.

I’m sure we all have thoughts like this sometimes, like if you have an embarrassing moment and you just want to do that night over, or even just that moment. But for me, it has snowballed so much from having this kind of thought pretty much in every situation.

While I’m in particularly negative moods, I think “I wish I could just hit a reset button for my life”. I also get a feeling during those thoughts that it’s not an exaggeration. Randomly in my daily life, I’ll have this thought. This idea of a hypothetical “reset button” has always stuck in my mind, and it’s cemented its own place as one of my core negative thoughts for almost the past decade.

There has been so much that I would have to go through again, just in terms of the amount of life I have lived so far.

But, when I really think about it, I still would say I would press that button.

-Immemorial Musing